2 skills to sharpen to live & love like Jesus in your marriage

Are you truly living and loving like Jesus in your marriage? 

If you are a follower of Christ, at some point in your spiritual life you prayed a prayer that went something like this: "Dear Lord, I am a broken person. I've responded in life to what's happened to me in broken ways. I've hurt others and I've hurt You. Please forgive me. I believe Jesus died on the cross to forgive me. I believe He rose again. Now, help me to live and to love like Jesus. Amen."

This is the kind of prayer that individuals in a marriage relationship need to keep on praying. "Help us to live and love like Jesus." 

To live and love like Jesus, couples need to become experts at 2 things: 

1) Repenting.

2) Forgiving.

Repenting + Forgiving = Living and loving like Jesus in your marriage.  

I heard Manhattan Pastor Tim Keller say this in a set of messages we ask our couples in premarital preparation to listen to. Of course, Jesus didn't have to do the repenting part of the equation. But as fallen human beings, we have repent... and keep on repenting.  

Husbands have to learn to say, "I was wrong when I said this or did that. I bet you felt very unloved. I promised that I would love you but I didn't do it very well. Would you please forgive me?" 

Wives have to learn to say, "I was wrong when I said this or did that. I bet you felt very unloved. I promised that I would love you but I didn't do it very well. Would you please forgive me?" 

We have to repent because we're going to hurt each other. We wish it weren't true, but we all know better. 

And then couples need to forgive each other. Because that, indeed, is what makes us very much like Christ. He loved us so much that He forgave us by dying on the cross in our place for our sins and rose from the grave. He prayer, "Father, forgive them" about the ones who nailed Him to the cross. If you're going to be like Christ in your marriage, you have to forgive. 

I once heard someone say that we are very much like Satan when we don't forgive - when we are bitter, resentful, and hold grudges. He went on to say that we a very much like Jesus when we forgive - when we respond with grace, mercy, and say, "You don't have to pay. I'm not going to make you pay for that wrong." 

So, which of these skills - repenting or forgiving - do you need to sharpen most today?