All these situations are unique and complicated. Personally, I have benefited from each man's ministries and teachings and I know many others who feel the same. But each man has been severely disciplined by their boards and, more importantly, by the Lord.
It doesn't help when people like me who know very little about the specifics and who are looking at these troubles from a distance share our uninformed opinions. Rather, I am praying now for my brothers and for Christ's kingdom to be useful to the Master. Christ, the head of the Church, will sort it all out, give up the appropriate discipline and approvals, and build His kingdom in spite of the failures of His leaders.
But the most recent story has reminded me of some lessons I have learned over the years in ministry about leadership that is both successful (at least in man's eyes) and hurtful. A few years ago, I compiled and shared a list of protective and manipulative practices that abusive spiritual leaders often use. Here again is my slightly edited list of practices I wish I had learned about before I ever started in ministry.
7 practices of highly successful and deeply hurtful spiritual leaders
1. Surround yourself primarily with your best fans.
Hurtful leaders struggle with handling criticism well. They get defensive. They fire back. Because criticism is so painful for them, they tend to surround themselves with people who only give them applause and praise. They use the busyness of their ministry and the importance of their role to limit the contact that critics can have with them. They live isolated and insulated lives as leaders.
2. Blame any conflicts on the devil.
2. Blame any conflicts on the devil.
When troubles happen in the ministry, the one who is blamed is Satan. The leader tells the story that he is so successful that he is on the Devil's top hit list. Personal issues are rarely considered to be the source of the problem. Instead, the leader looks for sympathy from the people because the devil is attacking him, his family, and his ministry. This tactic keeps critics off-balance and silenced. After all, who wants to be a tool in Satan's hand attacking such a successful leader?
3. Allow your success to give you a sense of entitlement.
3. Allow your success to give you a sense of entitlement.
Normal accountabilities are no longer valued. Routine decision-making processes no longer apply. Pay, power, and perks are expected to increase. Secret, side conversations with people of influence within the ministry begin to happen on a frequent basis.
4. When reporting to your boss and your board, control the content of the conversation.
4. When reporting to your boss and your board, control the content of the conversation.
Hurtful leaders make sure that their subordinates do not have much opportunity to speak to bosses or boards. Instead, the abusive leader sets the agenda with those he reports to by telling stories of success and by painting critics as sources of spiritual warfare. Because the leader controls the conversation, the boss and the board see the leader as the reason for the success and the unfortunate victim of detractors.
5. Make sure you put your spin on the news.
5. Make sure you put your spin on the news.
Because ministry is so difficult in this fallen world, problems happen and bad news is inevitable. The hurtful leader has an uncanny ability to get ahead of the bad news. He shares the bad news with others in a way that protects him but throws his subordinates (and others in the ministry) under the bus.
6. Practice triangulation.
6. Practice triangulation.
A triangle has three points: rescuer, a persecutor, and a victim. The hurtful leader makes sure that he plays the role of victim. In a sick way, he gains energy for life and ministry by seeing himself as being persecuted. He runs to a rescuer to find affirmation and resources to carry on. At some point, the rescuer simply cannot carry the weight of his or her role, or the rescuer begins to question whether or not all that the victim claims is persecution is actual. The rescuer decides he's not going to play that game anymore. That's when the leader who is playing the role of the victim turns the former rescuer into a new persecutor. He then goes and finds another rescuer. This process repeats itself over and over again. That's why you often see a host of wounded and dead bodies in the wake of a hurtful leader. The hurtful leader has a vast capacity to vilify anyone who dares to criticize and has an insatiable thirst when drinking from the waters of victimization.
7. Say that the ministry is about God's fame while making sure you use the ministry to build your own brand.
7. Say that the ministry is about God's fame while making sure you use the ministry to build your own brand.
The hurtful leader could never get away with flagrantly doing things for his own glory. Over and over, the leader talks about how it's all being done for God, for the spread of His fame. And perhaps the ministry even started that way, but with success comes the temptation for a shift to be made. Instead of simply wanting to reach a generation for Christ, the leader wants to be KNOWN as the leader of a ministry that reached a generation for Christ.
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Yesterday, a friend, in commenting about this most recent pastoral firing, sent me this quote from Abraham Lincoln, "Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." Perhaps church planters and pastors could use Proverbs 30:8-9 as a cue for prayer about themselves and their ministries: "Lord, give me neither poverty nor riches - neither insignificant influence nor influence beyond my capacity, neither no platform or a mega-platform. Feed me instead with the food that is needful for me. May I not become full of myself and forgetful that it's really all about You. May I not be filled with self-doubt about my life and leadership so that I use sinful tactics to grow my brand. May I never profane the name of my God."
May God save us from any kind of abusive spiritual leadership. May He give us the sense to recognize it quickly and confront it powerfully when we see it. May we have wisdom to know when it’s time to gracefully remove such leaders whenever possible or to gracefully move on when we can’t remove them. May we be willing to see any evidence of these traits in ourselves. May we ask God to forgive us for some hurtful things that we ourselves have done. May the Lord minimize these tendencies in our lives and nail them to the cross with Christ. May the Lord raise us up to walk in as much newness of life as possible this side of heaven.
A prayer:
“Lord, forgive us for hurtful, manipulative, self-serving leadership. Instead, make us like You, Lord Jesus. You were and are a true servant. Help us all grow in godliness and holiness. Tear down what's hurtful. Build us up as true, pure leaders for your glory. In Jesus' name, Amen.”
Question: What have you learned about recognizing abusive spiritual leadership?
May God save us from any kind of abusive spiritual leadership. May He give us the sense to recognize it quickly and confront it powerfully when we see it. May we have wisdom to know when it’s time to gracefully remove such leaders whenever possible or to gracefully move on when we can’t remove them. May we be willing to see any evidence of these traits in ourselves. May we ask God to forgive us for some hurtful things that we ourselves have done. May the Lord minimize these tendencies in our lives and nail them to the cross with Christ. May the Lord raise us up to walk in as much newness of life as possible this side of heaven.
A prayer:
“Lord, forgive us for hurtful, manipulative, self-serving leadership. Instead, make us like You, Lord Jesus. You were and are a true servant. Help us all grow in godliness and holiness. Tear down what's hurtful. Build us up as true, pure leaders for your glory. In Jesus' name, Amen.”
Question: What have you learned about recognizing abusive spiritual leadership?
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