Have you been wounded by an abusive spiritual leader? How have you handled that hurt?
A few years ago, I posted an article entitled "7 Practices of Highly Successful and Deeply Hurtful Spiritual Leaders." A friend saw the article and affirmed these practices as warning signs. It caused him to reflect on his experiences in a previous ministry.
I asked him if I could post his thoughts. He graciously agreed although he wanted to remain anonymous. My friend is my guest blogger today.
***
Recognizing a spiritually abusive leader can be an elusive process especially if one has been involved in a ministry for a period of time that extends back to when it may have been a healthy place. Those that remain faithful in serving in an abusive atmosphere have been wounded and many times have their thinking skewed, and their spiritual senses scarred.
I learned that there were three options available once the realization of abusive leadership was obvious:
1. Remain and maintain
Stay faithful to the Lord in spite of the caustic atmosphere and carnage. Keep doing your ministry and try not to get involved in the mess. This never works for long; you will end up being sucked into the vortex if you are doing anything worthwhile for the right reasons. You find yourself faced with the next two options.
2. Confrontation
This choice is carefully weighed in light of the wake of past results of confrontations that always ended badly for those who opposed the leader. Choosing this option guarantees your vilification and your ugly exit, although there are times when it it the right thing to do, especially if no one else has ever confronted the abusive leader directly.
3. Leave Gracefully
Be honest without diving face-first into an unheeded challenge for change. It may sound like a cop-out, but if many attempts have been made to confront the leader without success, it may be the best option.
I also learned that there needs to be a time for healing and reevaluating your own thinking process once you leave. One cannot come away unscathed from an abusive spiritual environment, especially if they were integrally involved in ministry.
Take time after leaving [to be] in a healthy church, and be open to realizing how your own thinking may need some readjustment. There needs to be forgiveness (a process), and also asking others for forgiveness.
God remains faithful and His word is true. Cling to that truth and continue to serve the Lord and others in a healthy place.
Question: How have you responded to a spiritually abusive leader?
No comments:
Post a Comment