When you want to rant on FB: 7 rules for relationships on social media

I was recently speaking with a dear brother and friend in Christ who is tempted to use Facebook and other forums to present his particular brand of politics.

Although he is motivated by love and by concern for our country, sometimes his words can seem harsh. Sometimes he can come across as unreasonable. Sometimes he can appear holier-than-thou.

He and I had what I hope was a helpful conversation. Here’s a little sampling of how I tried to encourage and, frankly, admonish him. Maybe it will help you, too, if you are ever tempted to drift into a rant on some form of social media.

1. Be civil. 

I reminded my friend that we must be careful with our tone and choice of words so that they truly reflect well on our Lord Jesus. It’s extremely difficult in the current political climate not to take the bait to be on the attack. 

I encouraged my friend, “Hey, brother. I do admire and agree with the vast majority of your politics. Let's just be sure that we share what we share with grace, dignity, and room for disagreement - even among other followers of Jesus.

2. Be wise. 

I reminded him that very few people change their views because of someone else’s rant on FB or Twitter. So, the ALL CAPS rants and even the well-reasoned appeals fall on deaf ears and hard hearts. In fact, public spats on social media often serve to deafen ears and harden hearts even more.

3. Be courageous. 

It’s not really courageous to sit behind a computer screen, type out a view, and hit send. People often communicate things online that they would never say face-to-face. If it matters that much to you, then have the guts to talk about it face-to-face with that other person.

4. Be personal. 

I encouraged my friend to reach out to others through a phone call or over a cup of coffee rather than social media which can feel so impersonal. When we have friend-to-friend conversations, then civility and kindness are much more attainable and much more persuasive.

As the Proverbs say, “Sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness” (Proverbs 16:22).

5. Be optimistic. 

I reminded my friend that even though we are not experiencing growth in the church the Western Europe and in the US, the church of Christ Jesus is growing around the world. Here's a link to a recent story in Christianity Today about the global growth of Christianity in the non-western world. 

In addition, we are living in the midst of the greatest turning of Muslims to Christ in all of human history. Again, this link to Christianity Today reports this amazing news. 

We have reason to hope – to be optimistic! In spite of what’s happening in the West, we are winning as followers of Christ. The sky is not falling. Jesus is building His kingdom and the gates of hell will not prevail against it!

6. Be eternally-minded. 

While we deplore what's happening among us with the uncivil behaviors and the loss of morality in the US, we keep our eyes on our real citizenship. Our love for and loyalty to the USA most not exceed love for and loyalty to our real, lasting, and ultimate citizenship in heaven with Jesus. 

The apostle Paul remind us of where our truest loyalties must be placed, “But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself” (Philippians 3:20-21). 

 In another letter, Paul writes, “If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory” (Colossians 3:1-4).

7. Be Christo-centric and gospel-focused. 

I once heard a pastor ask some probing questions, “So what in the world can change the trajectory of the lives of people? Is the government going to start a program that will save them? Can Congress pass a law that will redirect them? Is some businessman going to sell a product that will alter the condition of their hearts? Will the media improve their value system? Is a college professor going to utter some brilliant words that will reshape their character?" 

Of course not. It’s going to take a passionate follower of Jesus who gets alongside them at some point in their lives and shares the gospel which is the power of God for salvation. We can say, “Jesus has come to restore all things. He died and rose again. For me and for you. He's changed my life. And if you will open yourself up to the grace of Christ, then over time He will revolutionize who you are. You’ll find a new purpose for your life. And sooner or later you’ll be able to pass on the trajectory‑changing message of Jesus Christ to someone else."

Our ultimate goal can't be to turn conservatives into liberals or to turn liberals into conservatives. Our goal must be to go to heaven and take as many people with us as we possibly can. 

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So, the next time you are tempted to go into a rant on some form of social media or in the break-room at the office, be civil and wise and courageous and personal and optimistic and eternally-minded and gospel-focused.

Which of these 7 characteristics is strongest for you? In which area do you need to grow the most? What are one or two things you could do to help you grow?

May God give us the grace to be gracious, especially in such a contentious atmosphere. “Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person” (Colossians 4:5-6).

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