Here are three more things we must do in order to experience the power of the resurrection in our relationships. There are things we must...put to death.…put away. v. 8
Paul lists five more sinful behaviors that we need to put away. All five have a negative impact on our relationships.
8 But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.
There are things to put away. This tells me that there are many of us who are not putting the right things away. Now, this list of five hits a little closer to home. Literally.
Put away anger. This is a smoldering, seething resentment. Nothing pleases you at home or in the church. You’re just ticked off. If you are living with a seething resentment in your heart, then you are guilty of great sin. You are living in the flesh. You are not living like a person who is alive in Christ.
Put away wrath. This is describing sudden outbursts of anger. It might be translated indignation. And indignation has as a root word “dignity.” As soon as a person sees his dignity is being touched, he becomes indignant. Put it away. See, if you are setting your mind on things above – if you are consumed with your union with Christ, it doesn’t bother you too much if someone violates your dignity. If you know what God thinks about you, you’re not too worried with what a person thinks about you.
Put away malice. Malice is an evil purpose to cause hurt or harm. This word describes someone who thinks they’ve been hurt and then decides to do some hurting in return. Some people seem like they love to hurt especially if they think they’ve been slighted somehow.
Put away slander. This refers to any kind of evil speaking against anyone. With your tongue we can bless God and make much of Jesus Christ and then with that very same tongue, you can use it to vilify, slander, and gossip about God’s people. Put away slander. It’s destructive to the unity and blessing of the church of Christ.
Put away obscene talk. This is describing abusive speech. If you are abusing one another with your speech, then you are in sin.
Maybe for you there’s this one person who just really ticks you off at work, in your extended family, or at church; you just don’t see eye-to-eye. You know he or she doesn’t like or respect you and, frankly, the feeling is mutual. So, you’re just staying mad. When you talk about the conflict, you position yourself in the best possible light and you position the other person in the worst possible light and the relationship continues to deteriorate. Now, you are sucking other people in the vortex of your conflict. And now, today, Jesus is saying, “You have died and you’re alive. You don’t have to do this anymore. Put this all away! You can have raised up relationships.”
See, Christ is all and in all.
To experience the power of the resurrection in my relationships, there are things to put to death, put away.
…put off. v. 9
9 Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices
This is not a command to keep but a truth to claim. It’s already been done; we are exhorted to stop doing certain things because we can stop. We are different, therefore, we can act differently.
Jesus once raised a man named Lazarus from the dead. Lazarus came out with his grave clothes on. Jesus told the people to unwrap him and let him go. I don’t imagine Lazarus a few days later went back and tried to put the grave clothes back on. When we go back to our sin, we’re going back to grave clothes – to what leads to spiritual death and decay. Put off!
To experience the power of the resurrection in my relationships, there are things to put to death, put away, put off.
…put on. v. 10
Now, in some families and in some churches all you hear is put to death, put away, put off. And all that is true. It’s right here in the text. But there’s something more and it’s different. It’s put on! Putting to death, putting away, and putting off isn’t enough. We are encouraged to replace the negative with a positive.
10 and have put on the new self…
The idea here is “taking off” and “putting on” clothes. Again, the idea is that this has already taken place. We have had a change of identity. It’s already happened. Now, we bring our behavior into line with our new identity. Put off. Put on. We do outwardly what’s happened inwardly.
And as this happens, we are being renewed. Our transformation is an ongoing process.
…which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.
The new self has been put on. And now it’s “being renewed.” We were created in the image of God but because of our sin, that image has been messed up. God is restoring His image in us. We were formed in God’s image by the Creator; we've been deformed from God’s image by our sin; now, we’re being transformed to God’s image by our Savior, Jesus Christ.
You aren’t renewing yourself, He’s doing it. God is restoring. You can’t just put off and sit around and hope to live your best life now. No, we put on compassion, kindness, gentleness, humility, patience, and love (Colossians 3:12-14).
This is not a "fake it until you make it" approach. No. You are raised with Christ; now act like it. Jesus really is living in you; now act like it. You are loving; now act like it! This is living out who God has remade you to be. And as you do this on an ongoing basis, you’ll understand it to be true. We may not see it in ourselves. We may be tempted to not even believe it to be true. But we walk by faith.
There are things to put to death, put away, put off, and put on.
A new, thinner, healthier, stronger you is in you. But if you eat junk food, no one will see it. God has put that new you in you, but you have to put off the junk food. You have to start exercising and eating right. When you put on the right stuff, then everyone can see the new you. If this is true physically, how much more true is it spiritually? Put off and put on so the world can see the new resurrected you. And this will impact your relationships. You can have raised up relationships.
How do I know? Verse 11…
Here…
Colossians 3:11a (ESV)
The word “here” means “in the realm of these truths.” It means “when we put to death, put away, put off, and put on.” Certain things will follow – certain things about our relationships – will be true if we live here… in these truths. And when that happens, here means… here – in this church, in your family, in your ministry.
No national, no racial, no educational, no social, no economic, no gender, no power divisions. The death and resurrection of Jesus and our share in His death and resurrection breaks down walls. This passage gives us four divisions that need to dissolve.
Here there is not Greek and Jew…Colossians 3:11b (ESV)
Because we are raised with Christ, there are to be no racial divisions. The prestige of the Greek culture made the Greeks proud and look down on Jews. The Jews thought the Gentiles were pagans. But in Christ, they come together. Here there is not Greek and Jew.
Here there is not… circumcised and uncircumcised…Colossians 3:11c (ESV)
Because we are raised with Christ, there are to be no religious divisions. The circumcised were the religious legalists, the rule keepers. The uncircumcised were the people who wanted to be religiously free. But in Christ, they come together. Here there is not circumcised and uncircumcised.
Here there is not… barbarian, Scythian…Colossians 3:11d (ESV)
Because we are raised with Christ, there are to be no cultural divisions. The Greeks considered any non-Greek to be a barbarian. The Scythians were a people group located along the northern coast of the Black Sea. To the Greeks, the Scythians were a violent, uneducated, uncivilized, and little better than beasts. But in Christ, they come together. Here there is not barbarian and Scythian.
Here there is not… slave, free…Colossians 3:11e (ESV)
Because we are raised with Christ, there are to be no economic divisions. There was a huge financial chasm between slaves and those who were free. All of these human barriers belong to the “old man” and not the new one.
… but Christ is all, and in all. Colossians 3:11f (ESV)
Jesus binds all believers together in equality. Differences and divisions disappear in Christ. God doesn't play favorites; God saves us all in the same way and for the same end. In Christ we are all equal. In God’s family, we are all equal. We are all sinners who can be forgiven through Christ alone, through His death and burial and resurrection. He lives in us. And that works its way out into the relationships around us.
Since Christ dwells in all believers, regardless of background or social status, we must make sure we are not allowing any division or prejudice to take root in our lives. The stigma of being different must be loved away as we strive for unity within diversity. Christ is all and is in all. Verse 11 is giving us the results of the resurrection. This is revolutionary. These are raised up relationships.
We violate loving relationships because we don’t put to death, put away, put off, and put on. Sin divides us, but Jesus unites us. And this is a good way to tell if Christ is at work in us or not. Are we being divided or united as a people?
What about you?
I pray that you will be able to say, "here in my home/at my work/in my church there is not male and female, my way and your way, me vs. you; but Christ is all and in all. And if possible, as far as it depends on me (Romans 12;18), I will live with raised up relationships."
Take time to pray and ask Jesus, “What’s one thing you want me to put off that will make the biggest difference in my relationships?” Listen to Him. And ask Jesus, “What’s one thing you want me to put on that will make the biggest difference in my relationships?” Listen to Him. And then ask Jesus, “Would you give me the grace to do it?”
Ask God to help you live like the resurrection is real in your relationships – that Christ will be all and in all in your relationships – especially in your family.
Is the power of God on display in your relationships? A great leader once said that his goal in life was to “know [Jesus] and the power of His resurrection...Philippians 3:10, ESV.





There are three ways we can tap into resurrection power for daily living...









