Pastors, elders, and overseers (3)

If you would like to pray for your church leaders, then Titus 1:5-9 gives us at least 4 areas where they need your prayers. Here's the second area that can be a prayer focus...

I will pray for my leaders’ for my leaders’ family. Titus 1:6 says that a leader must be "above reproach, the husband of one wife..."

In Greek the phrase literally reads "a one-woman man." Paul has in mind marital faithfulness as a character quality of a godly leader. Why is that important? Because if a man is not faithful to his wife, how can he be trusted to be faithful to his obligations elsewhere? If a man cheats on his wife, where else will he cheat?

Here are some questions we ought to ask about potential leaders:

1. Are his affections centered on his wife?
2. Is his marriage a model for others to follow?
3. Is he above reproach in his dealing with the opposite sex?

Does this mean that a divorce excludes a person from being considered? To say that he is "A one woman man" is not to say that a divorced man can never be an elder. Hsi wife may have pursued a non-biblical divorce. Each case needs to be considered individually.

Many Christian men who have never been divorced would have trouble answering those 3 questions listed above. Being a "one woman man" is a higher standard than simply asking, "Has he ever been divorced?" The real question is, "What kind of marriage does this man have?"

To be the "husband of one wife" is a moral qualification, not simply a marital qualification. The issue is the quality of the marriage.

Does this mean that an elder must be married? No. Paul himself, the man who wrote this, wasn’t married. Paul is thinking that most elders will be married, but he does not require marriage. The meaning is, "If he is married, he must be a one-woman man."

Look at the rest of verse 6: "and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination."

This could be translated as having "faithful children." Even the best Christian fathers cannot guarantee that all their children will really believe. But elders must have children who are good people, responsible children.

"Debauchery” means wild, immoral living. It’s "excessive lewdness." "Insubordination" means "to be unruly." This kind of son or daughter brings disgrace to their father. And it disqualifies someone from local church leadership.

A godly leader takes great care with his children knowing that they are his single greatest contribution to the world.

The ideal elder has a family that is committed to Jesus Christ, where the husband loves his wife and the wife is dedicated to her husband's spiritual leadership, where the grown children love Jesus Christ and love and respect their father. That's the picture! A pastor’s family needs prayer.

Good churches have good leaders with good families. Pray for them.