A family that needs your prayers

A family I know needs your prayers. There’s a mom, a dad, and three kids.

One son is 17. He’s always been a good kid – a good student. But since he got his driver’s license, things have changed. He’s started hanging out with a different crowd. And now, there are these angry outbursts if his mom asks, “Where are you going?” She thought she smelled alcohol on his breath a couple of times. And his grades are slipping. He’s spending a lot of time alone with his girlfriend. His mom is scared he’s going to get her pregnant. She’s talked to her son, but he just blows her off. The mom is asking the dad for some help. He says, “He’ll be alright. I went through some of the same stuff. Boys will be boys.”

The daughter is 14. She has a vibrant personality. Her eyes sparkle. She’s cute. She’s an active volunteer in youth group at church. People say, “In a couple of years, the boys will be knocking the door down to date her!” She’s a point guard on the basketball team. But one night her mom heard noise in the bathroom. She walked in at 3AM and saw her little girl making herself throw up. Bulimia. Her mom’s worried about her health and her sense of self-esteem. She made an appointment with a counselor. They went a few times. The counselor said, “I really need to talk to dad, too.” The dad said he would go, but something always comes up. It’s been 6 months and he still hasn’t made it to the counselor yet. The mom lies awake at night crying, worrying, praying, and listening for those sounds in the bathroom.

The third child is a son who is 10. He was always busy, curious, outgoing. People have always been attracted to him. They’ve said, “I think he’s a natural-born leader.” But he’s been watching his brother’s anger grow and his sister’s self-esteem crumble. And he’s confused. He’s turned inward. He rarely comes out of his room unless he has to. He’s reading sci-fi books and he plays video games most of the time. He’s not talking much anymore to anyone. He won’t look anyone in the eye anymore. And all the dad says is “He’ll grow out of it.”

Talk to the wife and you’ll hear, “I always thought we had a great family. I don’t know what happened to us. We still have a lot of people fooled, especially at church. But I feel so alone. I don’t know what to do. Our kids are headed for trouble. Big trouble. And I fee like I’m the only one who cares – who tries to do something. Whatever happened to the man I married? Why won’t he do something? Anything?

The husband is a great guy. At least he looks that way to everyone from a distance. He was great as a coach in little league. And He really applies himself at work. His boss likes him. His co-workers do, too. They say he’ll give you the shirt off his back. And he shows up at church. He brings his Bible. He’s so… so…. nice. His friends hear from their wives that his wife is crying out for him to step up. So, he’s had a few guys encourage him to do just that. But he doesn’t know what to do. He’s never seen a role model. He didn’t see his own dad dig in and solve problems. So, he feels ill-equipped. He’s not sure he’ll say the right thing, so he says and does nothing. And this family just keeps getting worse and worse. And the members of his family just keep growing further and further apart...

What would you say to that man, to that husband, to that dad? It’s a family that needs your prayers. It’s a family that needs the husband, the dad to rise up.

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That family that needs your prayers? I want to introduce you to that family. It’s our church, CVC. We are a family of faith. And there are members of this family who need help, who need guidance, who need to be challenged, who need to be encouraged, who need to be taught, who need to be loved, who need to be shepherded, and who need to be led and fed.

But there are men throughout our congregation who are great guys. They are active in the community. They take initiative at work. People like them. They’d give someone in need the shirt off your back. They show up at church and bring their Bibles.

But when it’s time to roll up their sleeves and take on the God-given responsibility to shepherd, to lead, to feed, to solve problems in the church of Jesus Christ, they say, “Let someone else do it. I don't know what to do. I'm not equipped.”

In a church of 2,000 to have 5 active elders? It’s not OK.

We have members of our family who need the help of God-called leaders. And too many men are passive. Robert Lewis of Men's Fraternity tells us that a real man rejects passivity, accepts responsibility, leads courageously, and expects a greater reward.

Not everybody is called to eldership. But I'm guessing that more men at CVC have actually been called than have heeded the call.

Rise up.